KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[KGirl]

Ugh. Today I am very much in a "why do I have to be divorced, why did my XH have to be such a s***, why did I stay with him when I could have met someone I'd still be married to" sort of mood. I'm tired of seeing friends/coworkers be happy with their spouses and have someone to come home to when things are stressful. Someone they can count on and rely on. Yes I know they may not be as happy as they look but for the most part my friends are pretty happy and wouldn't trade their spouses for anything.

The current relationship I am in is so up and down lately, I have no idea what to do. One week we're having a great time, hanging out, I'm introduced as "girlfriend" (yay!), I think we're having good conversation and communication, the next week I get bailed on when we're supposed to do something, and when I try to talk about it I get told that maybe we should break up because he feels bad he can't give me the attention I deserve/doesn't have time for me and doesn't know if he ever will (??) We maybe get together once a week despite living half an hour apart due to his work schedule/whatever else he's doing (like spending entire weekends with his family). Right now I have no idea what's happening because we left it at "let's talk in person". I think it's worth talking about (in particular, I don't like being told "I can't give you what you deserve" - why don't you do the best you can and let ME decide if that's what I want or not??) but obviously so much of that is outside my control. I understand people have lives and I want to be independent and co-dependent but I also want to know I am a priority to someone and they will make time for me. I'm willing to stick through this tough time (busy work schedule) but I haven't gotten any reassurances about how long this will last or that he even would WANT more time with me if he could. Being single at this age feels hard. The guys who haven't been married yet seem to have trouble with relationships for a reason (can't communicate, or compromise, or commit, workaholics, etc.)