I think you need to stay out of her R with the son. That's her responsibility. Also, I would not tell her how you will always be there for her (conditions, or not). Remarks of that sort is not appreciated by her, in this current frame of mind.
I suggest you practice changing hats at the end of your workday. After you get home, you are not in charge of fixing other people......or their problems. That does not teach them how to handle it themselves.
You are not in charge of rescuing your W. Although your feelings may say to protect her and try to help every way possible.......allowing your W to deal with her problems is comparable to how we allow our kids to grow into responsible adults. The hardest part is not to interfere and let life teach them.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
