I have been trying to figure out how to respond to that Tread and I do agree that I need to be careful but I also think you might have a lot of anger towards your own W. that may prevent a reconciliation down the road.
In my case, yes I agree that contact needs to be broken but I am also cognizant of legitimate fear I have caused in her. I don't know how that is in your sitch but compared to how my W was acting in the beginning and compared to now she has shown a lot of change. And like I said the frequency of talking to OM is not very high and the main focus seems to be on him wanting her to work on herself. To some degree if I force her to make a choice I would push her right to him...but regardless of that she needs to feel a lot more comfortable around me again and from her actions SHE has come around a lot.
