My son and I were walking in a park and ran into my W with her OM. I videoed the encounter.
Well it sounded like you were doing pretty well with detachment, but maybe you just thought you were detaching. Because this behavior is not detached! Why the video? What was the point of that? The only reason I can come up with is you wanted to humiliate and embarrass her in front of S, which frankly she didn't need any help with because I'm sure she was doing that just fine on her own.
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My son was a wreck and I had to console him like never before.
I'm sure he would have been upset anyway, but I think your actions probably contributed to it quite a bit. My dad dragged me along to go and confront my mom and her OM after they had separated (I did not know where we were going or why at the time). I was older than your S, but it was still a very traumatic experience for me. I'm sure my dad was hoping it would embarrass my mom and maybe even make me hate her, but the whole experience just hurt me deeply, it was like my whole world was turned upside down. I was more upset about their attitude towards each other than anything else, when the people you think love you and love each other are suddenly showing hatred and anger instead, then as a kid you don't understand if it's because of you or directed at you or what. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation again then please, think of your son and just get him out of there as quickly as possible.
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"What do you think you're going to do with those pictures". I said "It was actually a video". She then said, "Well, it's not going to help you".
IF you're in a no-fault D state like mine (TX) then she is right.
