Yes, trying to keep things at zero. It's hard I still care about her and it hurt to see her hurt. I know I'm not going to nice her back but I'm glad she let that out to me and not going elsewhere.
I had lots of contact w/xw this week. She called me Monday and said she was in too much pain from her adeno/endometriosis to watch the kids and was going to have to take a muscle relaxer. I asked if she was okay when she called the kids and she said Mlc friend came over to help take care of her. I'm glad she had me watch them.
She got the kids the next night but I had to get them early the next morning because I took the day off for an air show. Unfortunately, it got cancelled due to weather but we still had a good day and kept busy.
Xw tells me a lot about work etc. one night last week she just says "it happened today." I had no clue what she was talking about. When I asked she said she had to go talk w/Mlc friend because she was depressed. Evidently she was manic and spent all her money from her late h's life insurance and doesn't remember how. I feel bad for her but in a strange way it reassured me I'm sane. XW and Mlc friend are connected at the hip. Misery loves company..and craziness.
We decided to take the kids to the carnival together this weekend. We hadn't planned this but there were some news going around about attempted child abduction lately and we thought it would be best. We had a good time but while there I got a glimpse of how out of it xw is. She got on a kids ride w/them once and not in the same seat. She asked I Was going and I laughed and said no. When she got off she told me she thought she was getting on another ride that was next to it but didn't realize until it started. Wow..really... Lots of venting about work but she finally calmed down. We did have a good night and I'm glad we could do that for the kids. She also thanked me and said she had a good time. Lots of different feelings: sorry for her, missing the old her, seeing the out of it new her, knowing I deserve better but not wanting to give up. No expectations but trying to be more patient (if possible).
