Still standing almost 11 years later

[Zues126]

Missmyfriend, thank you for your post.

I don't believe our society places enough value on marriage. Parenting- yes. Being a mother or father is our most important duty, one that can never be sacrificed. We don't give up our teenage children for adoption because they aren't fulfilling us as parents, that would be considered incomprehensible. Yet being a spouse is too often considered 'at will employment'.

Unfortunately many people are in it for the wrong reasons. It's about what they GET from the marriage. What their spouse does for them. How they provide companionship, or financial support, or sex, or feelings of importance, emotional intimacy. Nothing wrong with any of that- until, that is, those things take priority over more important things. Things like serving God, each other, our communities by being a strong value based family, and living to give rather than to receive.

Missmyfriend, your W may have left and refused the gift of your commitment, but you still get to look in the mirror and know you gave it. You kept your vows. You retained your identity. You are following what you believe God wants from you. I totally respect that. The fact is that there is no one else that can be your wife, so trying to replace something that is irreplaceable just isn't possible. And while you can't stop divorces as a whole, you can cast your vote and model your values for those you meet and the children you raise. If that keeps even one child of yours to stay faithful and committed in a lifelong partnership in today's crazy world then you have done a great thing IMHO.

I could say so much more, but I don't want to detract from what I've already written or go on a tear so long I never finish. So for now I will just say one more time I admire your commitment. I understand where the others are coming from in that you don't want to be a perpetual victim, or bitter, or martyr like, or trying to punish with guilt, or most of all of being unappreciative for what God has given you that you still have to celebrate. But I don't get that sense from you at all. I think you are celebrating what you have, and still retaining what you can from the most important promise you made to your creator. Thank you for sharing.