Here again part 12

[Train]

^^^ x2 what 25 said.

My vote is for you to say it just so you feel you're owning some of your power again.

But perhaps we avoid the "if THEN" boundary-setting convo:

"H, this isn't working for me anymore. This is our family home. Not a hotel. It would be best for the kids and me for you to do what you've said you wanted to do all along: pack your things and go."

Here's what is important, though, T:

Do not say/do this as a reaction. Do not wait for him to do something that pisses you off before you say this. Do it as an OFFENSIVE move. So you don't come across as petty and nagging and reactive.

If you say this ^^^ when you are calm and H hasn't done anything to make you mad, then it comes from a place of POWER.

You could say the very same words after he's pissed you off, and it would come across as defensive and powerLESS.

Does that make sense?