advice please

[CW2017]

Hi all
again some fantastic threads still on the go this weekend and are a testament to the superative advice (as always) being offered. Been feeling a bit melancholic this weekend which I suppose is a basic human reacton after having felt quite strong for the last 6 weeks or so.

Went to dinner with my closest confidant on Friday who is going through his own divorce hell at the moment. We were swapping MC anecdotes etc. Strangely enough he could never understand how he enacted all manner of 180s based on his own MC advice to meet his wife halfway who despite all this behavioral change still wanted out. It occurred to me having read so much on the forums here now that surely there must have been someone else in his sitch?

While I was out my W was looking up some youtube song videos which she was heavily into earlier in the year whilst very deep in her own fog. No idea why that might be but she had her own solo MC session yesterday (didn't ask her what that was like as we come together for our next joint one next weekend, respecting the confidentiality of that). She has certainly also deleted her online timeline (for whatever reason) but I am sticking to my plan of not making my decision until after MC has gone as far as it can, our 20th "celebrations" in a couple of weeks (she is genuinely excited about this and hasn't got a clue where she is going or who is coming) and our 2 week holiday with DD. So in that sense things are good.

It's just that at the moment I just feel really sad about the whole thing and how I may well have to pull the plug if it becomes clear the OM is still on the scene. Think the next joint MC session will be telling as the MC has told me that it will be really probing, likely to be going into my previous major relationship and her childhood abandonment issues, all to establish (I think) how she views me as a "man". This will hopefully get to the crux of what I want from the MC sessions, i.e. to ensure this A situation never happens again. Then again if the OM is still on the scene... (hopefully the MC has sniffed that one out).

thank you all again