On Higher Ground

[HaWho]

Roist - it was hard to tell if he regretted not running things by me. In the past he said he had a tough time with this sort of stuff as he is a classic distancer.

Hi Brubeck - nice pun.

It's been an odd week. H seems all over the place. He went out last Saturday and he did it just like he did in heavy duty replay. The whole thing was such a trigger but it only lasted 10 minutes. Then in a flash, I thought scr$w this and I did not spend another minute on it. When he came home (not too late) I said hi and moved along.

My birthday was this week. H came into the kitchen before I left for work, looked me in the eye and said happy birthday. I said thanks. And he said I did not look a day over 50. I turned 42. A$$. There was a time this would probably be humorous but with all his age obsession and projection it's just not anymore. I HATE talking about aging, the gym, calories, ways to stay young, diets, etc. After work they took me out to dinner. I had a great beer w/dinner while h ate like a sparrow.

Some of the diet stuff is soooo stupid. Okay, ALL of it is stupid. H announced at dinner one night that he's no longer eating mushrooms as they are a night shade vegetable and Tom Brady says he's maintained his health by avoiding night shades. I have tried to tell h, that omitting potatoes is probably NOT the reason Tom Brady is a quarterback at his age. It probably has to do with meds, massages, anti - inflammatories, etc. Now, the EXACT same day h announced his ban on mushrooms, he ate a whole pint of icecream in 2 seconds. So I asked him if that was part of Tom Brady's diet, too. He laughed as did the kids.

One night h was sitting on the couch. And s13 said "wow! When was the last time you sat here dad?" I immediately answered that it's been 3 years since h sat there. I didn't miss a beat in answering how long it's been and hopefully h noticed. H said: my brother used to eat and make messes all over the couch so I don't like sitting here. Wow. Does he think it's 1975 and his brother lives here?

And h mentioned that as a child he lived in crazy places: closets, tiny rooms, etc. Space has been central to his MLC as anyone following knows. I asked him why he never moved in with his father (his stepmom, the OW his father married, was always very nice to h). H said he was never invited and there was pain behind the statement. (After he gave me the letter and moved back downstairs in a huff, I did ask him to move back and he said no. Wonder if that was a control issue from childhood?!?). As for his stepmom, the OW, boy did life hit her hard. FIL ditched her for another: surprise, surprise.

I took Friday off and asked s13 to a nice breakfast. He is a foodie. After I left the room I realized I didn't invite h even though he was w/in earshot. It was not intentional. But I did cringe and feel rude. I thought about inviting him afterwards, but did not want to do so. A) It was my day off and I wanted a break from MLC and B) I didn't want to have to hear about how on his new diet he only eats 3 ounces of spinach with his eggs Benedict. I wanted to go eat and savor the meal--not nitpick it to death.

That same day s11 had a show-and-tell for a camp. After breakfast s and I putzed around and laughed a lot. A few minutes before s11's show-and-tell h texted asking if he should wait for us so we could drive together. I said if we don't make it by x time, leave without us. We did make it home while he was there but I needed to change. H seemed to wait beyond the time he was slated to leave but then left. We drove on our own.

And boy was h really trying to get under my skin at the event. I went to check out what s had built; a robot that moved blocks. The robot stopped working for a bit. H told me I caused it! I said how? His answer? I looked at it. Really mature. So I said he sure was Mr. Positive. Then, during the competition part, I was cheering for s and h shushed me!!! He told me I was too loud. I ignored him and cheered just as I pleased. I think he was trying to get back at me for not inviting him to breakfast.

Yesterday I cleaned all day. After dinner I went out w/out saying bye to h. He was in the stinky dorm room and was planning on watching something with the boys. When I came home a few hours later and said hi, h did not answer from behind the stinky door.

This morning I left early to walk the dog and run errands. While I was out h texted saying that his phone was acting funny and if I tried to text him in the past 24 hours he didn't get it. Then he asked me to re-send if I was interested. I did not respond. Did he want me to say where I was last night? He did just tell me that what we do is none of the other's business.

Kids are off with friends today so I took off for a long walk and a liesurely afternoon off.