Maybe make plans in advance on the days you are off with your D and let the W know about them? Maybe even invite the W if you feel like it, but if you feel like you would struggle too much "putting a happy face on", then don't invite her. Just connect with your D. If the W tries to interfere with those plans, then enforce your boundary.

I wish i could do as good as you on the boundary setting and validation phrases.

Me 51, Wife 44; Married 4; Together 10;
HSD20, XWSD13, XWSS14, XWSS17
Kids Together D4, D1.52
W Moves Out: 03/16/17
W Files : 03/17/17
D Final: 10/23/17