"how does it stop you from feeling bitter?" I think I felt as if my H was rewriting my own memories and I resented it. It felt like if this was true today, then that was all a lie, that I'd been a fool and let someone con me. I don't want to feel that. I don't think it is true. Those aren't my memories. It felt too much to let him steal along with the present pain and a lost future I thought we'd share.
And your point about 16-18 years plus a crap transition to what next is a fair one. They were mostly very good years and I'm grateful for the love and joy we had.
"I have a feeling if you put yourself out there, you'll find far more reward than you even hope for." Well, I won't know unless I start, will I? And your son is right too. I absolutely say good riddance to lunacy which means saying good riddance to my STBXH too, doesn't it?
It is a shame we don't get a small MLC funeral service with sausage rolls and wine!
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
