WH came back. Piecing. Past the 2 year mark ...

[Treasur]

Martin Seligman's stuff on resilience, which Sandberg uses, talks about the 3 Ps
- Personalisation, how much you think it is your fault
- Permanence, if you think it will always be this bad
- Permeation, how much of your whole life/self is damaged or affected

Each of us bring our own baggage to this, I think. I've always been grateful that my H's behaviour has been so extreme and MLCish that I've rarely thought it was about me or even our M. At the same time, of course, I've reflected on the patterns in our M and how it might have been weakened or contributed.

I've found the permanence thing really tough because it has felt as if this crisis has gone on for a really long time. And the MLC timescales are depressing. But if I step back, I can see that things are not the same...some better, some worse, but not the same. I think detaching gives you the objectivity to step back a bit.

And how much of me/my life? Well, tbh, a lot and there are some lessons in that too, aren't there? Some of it is just practical...if the person you are emotionally, financially and legally sharing your life with blows up, then it affects a lot of things. GAL is about reclaiming and salvaging the bits of you and your life that don't have to be polluted by it, I guess.