I struggle with my dad playing nice at the house with H. My dad said they were talking about our plans he excited the kids were etc. I am pretty frustrated because I asked my dad not to share this info with him. You know my dad had that long talk and told him how things would be but he's not standing by what he said. It's hard for me not to be upset about it. I feel like he's condoning H's actions. Like you're disrespecting my daughter but let's talk like normal and hang out like we would when her and the kids are gone. I am not sure how to let that go. I just want someone to stick up for me not with words but with actions. My H is still talking with my uncle. I mean why should he question anything when everything is the same except he doesn't have to talk to me or be my husband.
Just my thoughts, that they are in a holding frame until they see how things pan out with you and H. Didn't you say that dad lived in the house with you? If so, he is kinda of between a rock and a hard spot....since your H is showing up and spending time there. If he threatened ro thow H ou of the houset, or they got into an altercation.....,..you would be terribly upset. Once you actually have H stop coming to the house, and your dad sees you are going through the D.......then he will likely step up. IDK, about your uncle, but I'd guess he maybe has detached himself from the "situation" in your M troubles. You know how men comparmentalize.
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You know my dad had that long talk and told him how things would be but he's not standing by what he said. It's hard for me not to be upset about it.
I would have to look and read it again. However, I'm thinking he was telling your H that if the M ended....things would not continue on as if he (H) was still part of the family. The buddy trips would stop and H would not be invited to family events. So far, your dad still doesn't know that you will really D your H......and probably will have to see it finalized. Until then, he's going to play nice as his more comfortable choice in how to handle things between and SIL.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
