GAL day in the making. Only concern W seems to be pulling awy from my son. He reachs out and there is always something that is more important for her to do or not today i feel sick. I worry greatly that she may ruin the relationship she has with the kids. They dont understand the fast changes she makes from positive to negative.
It must be terribly painful for you to see this happening. If you have "the fixer" mentality, you will want to give excuses to the kids about why their mother is pulling away. You might even try instigating more family activities.....just to draw her into the circle and pay attention to her kids. Here's the cold harded truth. You can't fix her. You can't make her be a good mom. The more you try to cover for her with the kids......the bigger possibility they will mistrust both of you, b/c they see through the lie. Work on your R with the kids, have as much family oriented activities as you can muster with them........but basically stay out of her R with them. You are not responsible for her R with her children.
If she won't see a therapist, perhaps you could have a session to get advice in how to answer some of the questions from your kids. Better yet, let them talk to a counselor about their feelings, especially if they think dad just makes excuses for mom.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
