Your feelings are 100% valid, T. Feeling them is part of the process of eventually feeling better. Don't fight them, but also don't act upon them.
Also, fully accept the idea that H is no longer an appropriate person to be venting your most private thoughts and feelings, too. Let your family and friends (and DBers) pick up the slack.
Your new mantra is "I can feel however I feel, but I can choose my actions."
I'm sorry that you have to go through all this. Just try to trust us that you still have a happy life full of love ahead of you. H is not the end all be all, and he doesn't determine your worth.
