Coly.....you have definitely gotten better advice from everyone else then I could give you, but I will tell you how I handled the same situation in regard to H and his things.
When I kicked H out, a few days later I gave him a small suitcase and a few other things. Everything else was still at the house....hanging in our master closet as a matter of fact. So everyday I had to see all of his clothes hanging there. A few weeks went by, I asked him when he would be coming to get his things and he never would. One evening about 3 months after BD, he came over to "talk" and I asked him again when he was going to take the rest of his things. That night he went and packed a few things, but for me that was not good enough. I started taking his things out to his truck. He asked what I was doing and I told him "you don't live here anymore, and I don't want your things here." What he said to me after all of his things were out of the house told me about his state of mind at that time.......he said:
"with all of my stuff out it makes things seem so final"
Seriously?!?!?! Now, I don't know what kind of mindset your H has, and I'm sure he really doesn't know either at this point in his life, but after hearing that from my H it definitely made me think he had no clue what he wanted, or what he was doing with his life. I know that after his things were out of the house, I could start to let other things go, and take the house back as mine. I also didn't have a reason to contact him anymore.
Coly, I'm sorry you are going through all of this, and I know it is so frustrating and it svcks. I read what Job, Blu and the others have said to you, and I remember hearing those exact same words. It took me a long time to finally realize that what I was being told to do was the right thing to do. Like you, I felt like I was doing everything I thought I was "supposed" to be doing.....leaving H alone, going NC, GAL and living my life, but really I was just going through the motions.......and he knew it.
I did get angry, and at times it did consume me, and when I did speak to H he heard my wrath. It made me feel better because that way he knew exactly how I was feeling........and trust me, there was no question about how I was feeling when I spoke to H. But, I finally did get tired of yelling and screaming at him. I guess I got it all out and there was no more left inside
I'm not saying that yelling and screaming is what you should do, but maybe getting some of that anger out would help you
