New to the journey and thank you.

[Kylo]

First off, thanks to everyone who puts in time here. I've been lurking and have found it quite helpful. I'm hoping my story will help others as well as myself...

I have a MLC wife who fits all of the markers. Its funny because before I got around to MLC I looked at Narcissism, then BPD, and she had some strong hits there, but not a majority of the traits; but with MLC, BOOM!, it was all there.

She dropped the bomb in May of this year, with almost no warning. I told her later: If you measured the speed of this divorce in the number of words discussing it, this would be the fastest divorce in history!

We met for lunch because I needed a lunch partner that day. She had just come from the last college she attended to discuss with them what she would need to finish her degree, (she may have close to 200 credit hours from attending 5 different schools, but no degree. She kept changing her major. I'm still paying on her student loans.) For the previous few weeks we had barely spoken. I knew something was up. At this lunch I told her I really wanted to know what was going on, and she reluctantly told me that she thought she wanted a divorce. She wouldn't really divulge much more. My pride, anger, and my own concerns kept me from really pushing much further. Looking back after reading Divorce Remedy, this may have been a good thing. There really was no pursuit on my part. I never cried. (Part of me wonders if she should at least know that I care, because there wasn't much of a "fight for this" moment, although I have told her that I want to stay married and this would be new relationship).

In the following few conversations we had, she would eventually say things like: "I don't think I can love you like that." "Our marriage was terrible" "I've been faking it for so long" "You deserve better" "We can be great friends" etc...

We did go to two "Discernment" counseling sessions at very high cost, and after the second session, she said she was pretty sure she wanted the divorce, so that was that. We've probably had 3 discussions about it so far, but they have mostly been about the logistics of the divorce That's it for the first post, I'll be adding to it as sort of an electronic history. I think details matter, but I also know most people don't like details, so we'll see how well I balance!