Still standing almost 11 years later

[missmyfriend]

Cristy, I actually stopped by to see if any of my old friends were still on here from several years ago. I thought I would share where I am at for anyone in a similar situation. It's really challenging to share everything in my life and where I am emotionally over all these years but one thing I am happy about is that I have learned to be on my own and fine with it. I could have easily made a mistake and gotten into another relationship just so I could try to remove the pain of losing my R with my W. If I need to talk, I will definitely call. Whenever I am down, I read scripture. Cheers me up right away. I also consider all of the blessings in my life and don't focus only on the things i have lost or challenges that I am facing. At times I fall into my old routine of feeling self-pity. Thank you!

EastTN, thank you! I hope things are going well for you as well.

Tread, I wouldn't expect you to understand (I am not saying that in a derogatory manner). I will say that I have read many of Michele's books so we cannot possibly know what our S is thinking or what they are doing or going to do. That is their issue. We can only focus on ourselves. Not that it will happen to me but I personally know a surprising number of couples that were separated for more years than what i have gone through. One couple was apart for over 25 years and it didnt appear their marriage would ever be restored. No indications of resolution.

Tread, this program ends when a person says it ends. Divorce isnt always the endgame for people unless they say it is. While I do not ever try and tell people what to do, ie they should stay standing or something similar, i do caution them when they get into another relationship before they are ready.

I don't know if my marriage will ever get restored (this site is about restoration and learning how to handle the disruptions and how to interact with your S or ex spouse so as to stop damaging your relationship). For me, I had to get a lot of things fixed with me. During that time, I realized that I didn't have to be in a relationship to be happy. It seems to bother others a lot more than it does me

I wish you the very best!