T, you haven't posted, which makes me worry for you. If you're struggling, re-read 25's post. You are going to be happy, no matter what. You've got to recover from this, work on yourself to be ready to live an amazing and fulfilling life, but you'll do it.
You are in one of the most stressful parts. I know it hurts and it feels like you didn't have a choice because he hasn't given you one. And that's absolutely true. Sometimes we can't get what we want and we have to make the best of the options that we have, and that is what I see you doing by filing.
You deserve better than this, T, and you know it. That's one reason you're taking the step you're taking, but also to protect your boys.
If I know you, you also feel guilty because H is going to potentially struggle. But spending time thinking of that would be codependent, T. He wanted out, he was given every chance in the world to choose a different path, and these were the repercussions anyone could see coming from a mile away.
It isn't your fault.
Stand strong, and show him - via your actions and choices - that you are a strong woman. He'll start to understand that there's a new sheriff in town, and she's not worried about what he thinks of her, nor does she bother to rehash the topics a married couple might argue about, because she's accepted that things are radically different now. She's not even angry at him; she just has zero interest in engaging with him. She's taken the lemons he's handed her and she's going to make lemonade.
And ^that is what he fears the most. The T that would argue with him, and tell him what she knows and that she's not stupid, he knows how to handle her. He's got no clue how to manipulate the T that has risen above all of this, and that is the T we want you to strive for.
Hold your head up high, and know in your heart of hearts that this is probably not going to turn out well for him, since he's looking for a source of happiness outside of himself. But, oh well. He's an adult, and if he expected he could leave and still manipulate you to make it all easier on him, he's got another thing coming.
