Hi I have been married for 30 years. During the first 15 years of our married life I can't say our sex life was very regular but it was exciting, adventurous and very very varied !!
My wife was hit hard my the menopause about 15 years ago. The last time we had sex because we both wanted to was 14 years ago. The last time we attempted it was 8 years ago. As I write this I am amazed I have lasted this long, surprisingly I am someone who is very tactile and have a good sex drive. I have been living in agony for years but I loved my wife and our life together. We tried counselling together, she tried counselling separately and she also tried testosterone treatment... nothing worked... she gave up ... I gave up ... familiar story.
Last week everything came to a head (too complicated to explain) and I said I wanted to separate. Funnily enough in a conversation that she prompted to talk about making a change so she could provide what I needed from her. She was absolutely gobsmacked when I said I wanted to separate !!!
More talking.... she says she wants to change for herself as much as me. I gave her a list of my objectives and she said that they were not unreasonable, she is working on her own. Since then..... nothing (from her).
I am going to try telephone coaching.
but the reason for this post is that I am running out of confidence that things can change and worst of all, I was always convinced I loved this woman to the bones, but now I have made the mental decision that I am prepared to separate if necessary, I am not so sure any more.
I am not sure what is worse the agony of a sexless marriage (I can always masturbate) or being so unsure about the future and what future I actually want.
