Gosh darn it. I wish I could trade the divorce fearing part of my cold-hearted H for one of these good guys who got lost. Why do those guys run out and file and mine won't?
Treasur I had lots of people try to draw my attention to the fact that I was giving up my power and being weak and waiting. It cost me $600 to change my mental outlook. I found a way to get out of insanity-inducing limbo for my children and myself without having to go down the path of mutually-assured destruction. In short, a way to accomplish my goals without waiting for my H to bless them.
What could you do, actively, that would make you feel like you were doing something. I think I read somewhere that there are two ways to think about dropping the rope, one of them is almost an anti-action, just letting go, the other one forceful and active. An action rather than a failure to act.
What is the thing you would be doing now in your life for you, if he were waiting for you kindly and lovingly at home. Surely you wouldn't just sit in your lounge (right word?) staring lovingly into his eyes for the rest of your life. Instead of thinking of him as dead or gone, think of him as beside you and how you would be interacting with the rest of the world. Maybe that will help you find some actions that allow you to move on, at least until doing so feels more natural.
