I went back to your very first post. You now say she's been selfish a long time...but sometimes our pain makes us revise the marital history into a lot of blame shifting.
I understand that. But still, it's important we review our own feelings and thoughts when we are raw and here at the start.
Check it out, and I'm not saying this to blame you! I'm just reminding you of how you got here so you won't call Her a cold b1tch or the rest.
She said that she tried to be supportive over the last 1 ˝ years of what I was going through, but she felt like my entire life was sitting on the couch watching tv and playing games, then stated “so yeah, I have disengaged from you”. For the most part everything she said was spot on, I knew it because I thought it about myself, but I could tell for the first time how much it had hurt her.
I stated that I first noticed her disengagement 2 days ago and I was now talking to her about it, then asked her why in 1 ˝ years she never brought it up and talked to me about it (I know that harboring feelings like that can kill a relationship, and was upset that she never addressed it straightforward and allowed me to make a decision to change or not to improve). She said that although she never came right out and told me how she was feeling, she would try and encourage me to do things and I wouldn’t, and that when she would try and initiate intimacy I would roll over and go to sleep, and that she would put pretty dresses on and model them for me but I would never comment on how beautiful she is so, can you see how rejected She had felt? After that conversation, I went into a deeper depressive state, pretty much lost control of my emotions, and convinced myself that since she waited 1 ˝ years to address these things that hurt her, she was done with our marriage and it was just a matter when she would leave, not if.
I feel this ^^negative expectation and "worst case spin" are still happening. And it can be self fulfilling.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
