WAW, is there hope?

[25yearsmlc]

Alright,

Its quite messy, but i'll try and give things from her perspective. I provided some commentary in italic in there though.

Leading up to that day she had moved into another bedroom. We had an incident before that, but i'll focus on the one before the filing as its was worse.

Earlier in the day, we had yet another heated conversation where we were again "non-communicating" between issues and D was brought up.


So, if I understand this^^^you brought up D, correct?


At that point she was sleeping with the middle SS in a separate BR for about a month, but would still use the Master Bath. She had mentioned in previous conversations how when i go in the MBR bath, i was invading her privacy. In anger, I told her fine i'd move her things out of the MBR closet into the room she was staying inand she could use the other bathroom (when she walked through the master room she was invading my privacy). So i acted and went upstairs and started to do that.

why did you do^^^ this? What was the goal?


She was very upset about that and told me at that point that i had "made up her mind". She took photos of me moving the clothes into the other closet.

She had been going over to her Mom's next door to eat for most of that week (i had asked her Mom to help out by cooking for her and the kids since i didn't get home until late. The W was exhausted at this point and as soon as i got home i would get the kids ready for bed and put them to sleep) and came back. Usually she came back alone with perhaps one of the older kids, but this day, all three of her kids came back as well as the MIL when the W came back. I generally gave our kids their bath and get them ready for bed.

When i went to get the younger one to put her in the tub, the W said she wanted to feed her first, she was insistant on her feeding then but relented to me

In hindsight, Was this a battle worth fighting?

putting her in the tub as long as i brought her back right away to feed (the D generally falls asleep after I give the bath and a feeding). After the bath, i usually will play a little with the kids while i am getting them dressed (and after usually, but i wanted to get the youger one to the W). The young one went for an empty sippy cup and was clearly very thirsty.


So i went down and the W was in the kitchen doing something in the sink area near her Mom. I went for a bottle to get some regular milk for the baby. The W flipped out and insisted on breast feeding and then went for the baby. She struggled with me to get the child from me. After i resisted,

why would you resist? She wanted to nurse the baby, who was thirsty. I'm confused about the power struggle here. What are the underlying issues in your opinion?

Dig deep.


she had the SD get a phone and record the struggle. I told her she was hurting me and she did the same. Finally, i handed the child to her Mom.


ugh


I grabbed the phone from the SD and proceeded to go to call the Sheriff.

why?

The W sent the SD after me to get the phone from me. She went to grab for the phone, but i got out of the room with the phone. The W then chased me to another room and proceeded to grab my shirt and pull me back. When i wriggled out of her grasp, she kneed me in the groin.

so, she kneed you in the groin b/c you were getting away? Would she say it was in self defense if she were here?


When she did that, i could see in her eyes that she was disturbed that she had gone that far as to physically strike me. It was a glancing blow and i got away. She grabbed my back shorts pockets and ripped it off as i went up the stairs to the MBR. The 3 y/o saw that and started crying. She picked up the 3 y/o and her and her Mom left before the Sheriff arrived. All 3 step kids were outside the door while i made the call. The Sheriff came, but i wouldn't press charges.

I don't know what i was thinking resisting her getting the kid or calling, i felt she was out of control and i was a little upset that she would dictate to me something completely different than what we had previously done with the kids.

Kguy, - this^^^ sounds like a mutual fray with 2 people who both need anger management inside an odd power struggle.

Which at least is a clear path for you to do your personal work in, imo.




Also, I had a similar incident happen in my first marriage where the XW picked a fight

this is an unusual concidence, don't you think? Have you ever worked on getting better coping skills for this?


and tried to use it against me in court. I know i have a trigger there, in fact the MIL had mentioned it to her on the other incident.


Well, what are you doing to work on this trigger? It's a pattern, and you have mentioned 3 separate incidents - and in each case you blame your ex w and your present wife.


I guess i called the Sheriff to see if i could use it to get her in to get her checked out, but that sure backfired on me. I've got a lot of regrets as my resisting did not help matter at all.

The W has never acted this way, has never been physical like this. Likewise with me.


but you just said there are prior incidents in your previous m.

When i write this out, i can see how this has just gotten out of control. I've been told after my first wife (and confirmed by my lawyer(s) that instigating a physical confrontation is advice lawyers give their clients to get an upper edge. I know she talked with this (and another) lawyer before this incident as well as discussion we have had in the past about the previous marriage.

so you are saying your wife set you up? That she trapped you into a fight?