Not sure what I have

[KGuy]

I have experienced the infatuation with W bipolar before. Originally I would have said it was harmless, but in hindsight it was a problem for me because W wasn't open about it and hid it. Three times W contacted different OMs. The first OM W stopped of her own accord, the second OM is old hobby M. The third is a new obsession that I think is new, but still in that hobby.

However the EA manifests, i think you need to have the same boundaries that are listed in the LBS threads i link above for taking her back. Treat the EA as descibed on here your W needs to have consequences illness or not. The hiding is the shame of the A, although a list of traits among Bipolars is that they are not honest. I don't believe that to be true, but the shame of the A would cause anyone to lie just as you see throughout this forum.

The hobby is a life long passion that always existed.

Curious about the Hobby, but its probably best not to post it...

I believe the above to be related to W bipolar and manic states. They always start in Feb and always peak in May. However, this time W doesn't value me or the marriage to stop. W won't take meds or continue therapy because I believe therapy tells W to cut contact and due to hobby W won't.

Promiscuity is one of the "symptoms" of the disorder and it is associated with the highs as you point out, so yeah it may wane out in the fall if she is season oriented.

BTW, IMO thearapy is useless in this disorder with few exceptions. Thearapy only works if you are willing to take in what can be learned from the thearapist. The thearapist only can provide insight as to what their experiences are. Unless the thearapist is also bipolar (or perhaps only afflicted with a single pole depression) the full experience of the bipolar episodes cannot be realized and thus the advice may not be fully correct. This is why bipolars typically dismiss non-bipolar people of their views, after all you only understand what they tell you. Add to that, there is a stigma on this illness. This also goes with your relationship and is most likely why your W glossed over what issues she had with the disorder. What did your friends say?...cut your losses, right? Bipolars are generally dismissed once determined that they are bipolar. They are considered the problem from then on.

Your filing might actually trigger something as well, so reality may set in earlier because of that. Sometimes its not all boilogical. The trick for her is to be aware of what state she is in and act as necessary to counter it. However, that is her deal not yours. All i was saying earlier is perhaps read up on it to make yourself aware. Its way more than what you allude to that meds will solve their issue. Understand that meds only allievate symptoms, there is no cure for bipolar disorder.

I could go on about bipolar, i've researched it quite heavily. Researching the bipolar issue is quite fascinating and could provide a distraction. It might not be the best distraction (but the same could be applied to this site), but i would think either way you go, you'd want as much knowledge as possible about what you are dealing with. Your further research may bring hope, it may push YOU further away. One thing though, take care of yourself. Get your boat fully anchored and the end of the rope tied off before you go into that current. Thats the GAL and DB concept and i think that is the path you should follow. You are in my prayers.

I feel that I should cut my losses and move on. Without willingness for the right treatment or respect for me or the marriage, I can just expect more of it.

This is a decision you need to make on your own of course. Understand she does not appear in control of her situation at the moment. Either way the present situation is out of your hands, so your best course of action now is to detach from it. Any decision you make right now is not up to you.

We met to sign the initial divorce filing and she was in an "out of body" state. So, after that I emailed a plea to work this out and via email she was resolute again that divorce is the only path.

I wasn't going to write more on the disorder aspect, but , but let me also provide some insight on this as well. Sometimes, part of the mood range of a bipolar is not feeling anything. This can be a benefit is such cases where the feelings could drag her under, but also a burden in that she can get confused as to what her true feelings are. Don't read into this as her being cold. ts contradicted by theto the FB post below...

W posted about me giving her a box of darkness when she received divorce papers.

Winston Churhhill called it the "black dog".

I'm not sure at this point where I am at. I feel that if I could get through to W and W could recognize the damage, the loss, the potential illness that this could get treated and turned around, so yes the lighthouse. On the other hand, my mood swings and right now this moment, I don't want to put up with it anymore.

The only way your W will experience loss is if she expects you won't be there, that the whole LRT concept. It appears she knows this, Mood swings? LOL. Are we talking you or the W? Seriously, dealing with a bipolar is very difficult. most people would just walk away and who could blame them I guess. right now focus on yourself and ensure you are taken care of.

I have gone no contact except divorce essentials, I am trying to detach, and I am GALing. I guess I am willing to give it a little more time, but otherwise I think I'm out. Each time I see W on divorce paperwork though, W pulls me back in.

The detaching and GAL are to help you cope and try to grow yourself. As Cadet says, use your time wisely. A benefit is that your S sees these changes and is drawn back to you. In your case, it way more complicated as i allude in my overview of the bipolar above. If you think that she just needs to be on meds and that with therapy will make her what you want, then quite frankly you are way over you head here and you should just bail. On the other hand, the W you once loved is there. You don't have a choice right now though, all you can do is take care of yourself and perhaps hope.