Tell us more about her biological father. Is he currently in her life? Do you know very much about her childhood?

There could be a few reasons for this change in your wife. It sounds as if she is extremely depressed, if she is not changing her clothes. Does she go to work in the same clothes? She may be having panic attacks when she's with the family and suddenly jumps up and leaves.

Are there any traces of mental illness in the family? Would she see a therapist? Why is she against anti-depressant meds?

Do you think she would go to a hormone balancing specialist? Hormones can really scr@w up a woman when they are out of balance.

Does her mother seem to be worried about her daughter's obvious decline from her normal state?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!