ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next 3

[Coconut]

I would imagine there is nothing harder than a parent having to watch their child addicted to a deadly drug (heroin, crack, etc.), and no matter how much they try and help their child, they just keep using. Experts say that if you enable the child by offering them help when they need it, a place to crash when they can't pay their rent, etc., the longer they are able to carry on with their addiction. The child will not want to change, until they hit rock bottom and reality sets in. It's hard to get reality to set in when the drug covers up so much of real life, so it's gotta get bad for them to want to change.

Your H is in a state much like a drug addict. He wants to do what he wants, but he still wants your support, sympathy, love, etc., to make his fantasy easier when he's not high and facing reality.

Your H is starting to face reality, the things that he's doing shows that when he is not receiving the high from OW, hes reaching out to you, but when he's with her, he will stay silent forever.

Don't be there to support him when he wants you to, be there for him when he's changed and you want to be there. I'm curious as to why you were even considering responding to that text. He didn't ask a question, he wasn't discussing anything to do with spending time with the children, or anything else that would be important for you to respond.

As I understand it, a physically abusive husband will often beat the crap out of his wife one night, and then show remorse the next day.. Unfortunately many wives use that remorse as a reason to stay, as it somehow makes up for the beating. Don't be that person, accept an apology when he treats you well and does the right thing, all the time. Until then, just stay back and let him hit rock bottom.