Next phase: Divorce and Acceptance

[Pax_luv]

Coly, Own, Brtrfly, Sotto, Gordie,
Thank you all so much for being "there" in my slump. I so appreciate you all. I've rebounded and am back on steady footing.

I wouldn't say he's being a coward. I think he's trying to teach me a lesson by treating me like sh*t. I didn't accept his settlement offer so Im just a greedy, selfish, b. I deserve to be treated like I don't exist.

Let's keep in mind he put a settlement offer out there before any disclosures had to be made. And he kept threatening that I better take it because he wasn't going to be that generous ever again. He started at one figure, and then decreased. Hmmm....Yeah, cuz I'm just some broad he can pay off with a pathetic check.

No sir.

But that just goes to show you (and me) how valued I truly was in the relationship.

It was all fake, I was just an accessory that had to live and play by his rules.

It all makes sense now. Older-financially comfortable-man meets and falls in love with young hot woman. Man is smitten until he gets bored with his life, makes demands to young wife to comply with his wishes, and when young wife realizes she's not in a safe relationship, old man loses interest and falls out of love..... Blames wife. Old mans thinks he can just pay her to go away and when the wife says no, old man goes ballistic, and former friends and family of old husband believes young wife was just a gold digger all along.

Uch. Honestly, deep down inside, I thought maybe this was the scenario at the beginning of the relationship. I mean we had a 13 year age difference. It's not huge, and I'm mature for my age and I loved him. People would always joke that I would be the one to leave him. NEVER was it the other way around.

Oh well. There's literally nothing I can do about it now. Regardless of what ex thinks, I was a person who built a life with him and not some problem that would go away by throwing money at it ( and a very little bit of money it was).


Truth is, I did dodge a bullet, but it doesn't make any of this easier.

Coly, IT DOES GET BETTER! I promise you this. It took me a loooooong time to get where I am today and it's not easy, but I honestly do have a better life than before BD. Just have to do the work and be honest with yourself and live a life of integrity. There's so much BS surrounding divorce.

So, in the last 10 days, I've gone on 4 dates! Omg! I'm leaning into the fun of dating but it's hard to keep everyone straight. I also need to push it at the gym because I am indulging way to much on these dates. That's definitely new and exciting!