ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next 3

[SJW]

We did meet and it was more of the same from him although more H than alien. He apologised for keep having a go at me and said he feels so guilty and has nobody else to take it out on. I told him he sacked me as his support network when he BD'd and I will amicably discuss arrangements for the kids but he needs to give me a proper fixed schedule. Told him what I would like in terms of which was my weekend and he was fine with that although he won't be seeing the kids for the next 3 weekends and didn't see them the last one!!

We discussed money and I said if he couldn't afford to pay all of half the mortgage what could he afford but he said no he would pay and knew he would be in debt regardless. I gave him the option of not paying half the mortgage but it coming out of his share of the equity but he didn't want to do that said he would just use his credit card. He's obviously had legal advise since Monday and has to suck it up! He said to me I just want to make you aware that I have no money and I am going to be in debt and I know that's my choice but I just wanted you to be aware. I said I knew that as I have always done the finances I was well aware of his position and he said well I just want you to know it's no bed of roses. OMG I could have actually slapped him and said my heart F***ing bleeds!!!

He came home from our meet and I went out with friends. When I got back he had been tidying up which made me feel very uncomfortable and was actually coming out of my bedroom as I went upstairs to put my jacket away. We put DO to bed, she asked for us both to do it and was asking H a lot of questions about where he was going to be at the weekend but looking at me, that girl is one smart cookie, he was squirming and she knew it.

Once she was in bed I said to H that I wasn't comfortable with him tidying and being in my room as although this was still his house it was no longer his home as he didn't live here anymore. He got a bit sh***y saying so I can't come here anymore then, I said you can to see the kids but nothing more. He then stormed out and told S he was going. He came back into me and I told him he was doing it again and he shouldn't leave S because he was angry. He said I know you're already seeing someone else but that's nothing to do with me and I'm sorry for having a go at you I know it's my doing. He then left very sheepishly after handing me a load of cash for S's Birthday present and some tickets for S's Birthday evening. I guess he's worked out he can draw cash on his credit card Oh dear for him.

I don't know if I feel stronger because the kids know now and I'm focused on them and the summer and getting the house sold. Or, if it's because he's finally having a reality check, no money, no family time or support from me and nothing or nobody else, can't even speak to his own Mum. Maybe a bit of both but I do know now the kids know my focus is most definitely on me and them and GAL for the 3 of us and of course one for me without them within reason.

I do want my M but not how it is or even how it was. I may or may not get the chance and I know I am only a very, very short way into this.