Trying to detach from WTF world

[Treasur]

To be fair, I trust my L. She worked with my on my dad's probate and my mum's guardianship and has known about this unfolding chaos since Mar 2016. She is as frustrated (in a calm lawyerly way) at how unreasonable and dishonest my H is being. She is not pushing me to do this, but just thinks we have run out of other options to protect my interests.

In the UK, legal divorce and financial agreements are separate things, so because my H filed - particularly if he wants to remarry quickly - he has an incentive to finalise the D but no real incentive to deal with the nitty-gritty financials. And the partial financial stuff so far has exposed some of his lies and rather dodgy financial behaviour, as well as providing evidence of who the OW is. From his POV, fantasy land is living on his aunt's million pound houseboat in London for free with maid service and bunking up for free in our old home town in OW's house the rest of the time - he's not suffering in a cold attic!

T - some of what you say sounds a bit like my H - someone else called it the zipless divorce! As if you say the magic D word and all is resolved with legal fairy dust... Reality may be biting but of course we don't have children. I think when H was trying to talk to me, he was trying to drop word blah hints that there may be trouble in OW paradise and that things weren't as I thought. But I didn't want to chase that cheesiness tunnel so I ignored it and refused to put the mind reading turban on! He certainly seemed surprised that after months of ignoring me I said 'no thanks' to the chat on the phone every day idea...it may be sinking in that this is a horrible mess, that he has burned his bridges with me and that he's going to come out of it with not much more than his salary and OW. But, as we say, not my circus etc...