So what's changed is that this person, the calculating, serve him behind his back person is not an attractive person. It will further fuel he is making the right choice. That he has to get away from me because I am so controlling.
Woman: stop drinking H's kool-aid. The voice that is telling you these things is the voice that he wants you to have. The insecure woman who will take and justify whatever he dishes out, and doubt herself in the process.
Also, how is it controlling if you simply seek to formalize his choice?
It kind of sounds like you see anything that goes against what H wants from you (to sit nicely in that space on the shelf he made for you while he goes out in search of fun and freedom) as trying to control him. How does that work?
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We need to sit down and go over finances one night soon. I can't afford everything I am paying right now.
I'm not sure how you respond to his text. I'd send it to your L and ask what you should say.
However, I am bristling at the "we need to". He doesn't get to dictate what you "need to" do because he's not being an H to you any longer. And where does he get off telling you what you need to do when his less-than-brilliant planning has him tight on finances? Perhaps he should have thought it through a little bit better.
Funny how he found money for concert tickets, though, right?
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I just want to be the person only a fool leaves. I'm not sure me having a sheriff show up to serve him unknowingly is that person. That's what he did to me last time. Do I want to stoop to his level?
T. Stop. Listen to yourself. Look at the words on the page that you just typed. Imagine someone else typing them and how you'd feel reading about their situation. Step out of your head.
Why is it okay for him to do it to you, and you don't radically change your outlook on his value as a person, but for some reason you can't do the same thing and have confidence in yourself?
The woman only a fool leaves has confidence in herself, and doesn't put the feelings of an H who walked out for the second time when she had a newborn before her own feelings.
