Trying to detach from WTF world

[Treasur]

I guess my question was if anyone can think of anything (non-lawyerly) I can do to get him to act so we don't have to take the Court route?

The deadline is mine. After he reappeared wanting to 'chat', and full of word blah about 'taking responsibility'... I told him he had a month to act differently if he really wanted to earn my trust, talk to me and try to 'salvage something from the horrible mess he has made' (his words). A month ends on the 15th August.

Fair point about beating myself up...actually this all started in Oct 2015. Since then he has said virtually nothing about anything at all, including why he wants a divorce. He could drag this out for years unless I take the Court option but there are real disadvantages to it as I said.

What I want now? I've spent 21 months on my knees with every emotion under the sun. (we all know what that's like!). I just couldn't get my head round the craziness of what was happening or how unrecognisable he was from the person I thought I knew. But as I have detached, I've got more logical and tougher with myself. It is what it is and I can't understand or change it, but he has been extremely cruel and virtually silent for most of that time. My priorities are twofold really; to create some financial stability for myself and to create some emotional stability by getting away from his WTFness. I can't heal and rebuild without that. So, I need to get a financial agreement in place which probably means getting divorced too. And I need to sever any practical connections I have with him like houses, insurance etc.

Going to Court will eventually do that but it will cost thousands and take up to 2 years. Far from ideal. But, what else can I do with someone who is slowing down their OWN divorce process which I presume he still wants and certainly OW looks like she does? Makes no sense why he wouldn't want to get it done or why he would want the Court route, but not much has made sense since Oct 15 really and I can't be mind reading any more.

So, I'm just looking for ideas because I'm plumb out of them! (And I do/did love my H very much but it is hard to remember who he was and impossible to want who he is now. I suppose what love and my vows mean to me is that I tried my best to treat him with kindness and respect. But he is currently not loveable, trustworthy or acting in a way that earns respect. And I need to get out of this horror he's made because I hate it and I want better for myself.)