We hadn't had sex in about 6 months. He came clean about his affair about 2 weeks later. He'd been sleeping with a woman at work. He agreed to break it off and go to counseling. We went for about 4 months. He never did anything the counselor recommended, and has refused to change. I had asked him to be more demonstrative, more romantic. He'd been acting like he was single for months, going out without telling me he was leaving, and generally being insensitive.
I'm curious, did he ever indicate he was interested in saving the M? I mean he was engaging in an A and went to counseling but made zero effort. It sounds like he is completely checked out, so I'm wondering why you think you can make those demands on him to be more romantic and demonstrative?
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He'd cut off sex and affection again recently, and I confronted him on it last night.
I'm trying to piece this together- you didn't have sex for 6 months during which he was having an A, then you started up again at some point, and now it's off again? Sounds to me like he may be back with OW, or with a new OW. Do you suspect that?
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He said physically it was fine, but there was no emotional connection. I wonder why, when he refuses to rebuild my trust or any real intimacy.
Whenever a M is trying to recover from an A, the affair partner is the one that needs to do all the work. They need to show they are truly invested in saving the M. Your H clearly is not.
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I told him I was going to house sit for my friend for a week, that I wanted an answer from him if he had any intention of changing.
Why did you leave the house? You should have asked him to leave.
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My emotions are all over the place. I almost hate him right now, but at the same time I'm desperate for his,love and affection. What do I do?
Read DR. Get a DB coach if you can afford it, they're very helpful. Pull back, quit pursuing, quit pressuring. Give him time and space. Go back home. Keep posting!
