Hi Thornton, I'm sorry to hear about the continuing contact from her - I can see that must be hard when you are trying to heal and move forward. I see the contact from her as ongoing dysfunction on her part - I mean, she dumped you, moved 1000 miles away - and is now worrying you may forget about her and find someone else....well what would you be expected to do in all the circumstances - exactly that! So, I'm sure she has good reason to worry - but she did make her own bed after all. It is good that she is seeing a therapist, but TBH seeking such reassurances from you at this point isn't reasonable given all circumstances. Be careful that you aren't getting too drawn in to her world...
I'm more concerned about your own progress being impacted - and you may want to consider going 'cold turkey' from the contact for a bit if this isn't working for you. It is evident from your posts above, that you have no intention of moving to where she is. So, until or unless she has done significant work and makes a decision to move back - etc. - all is just as it was. (I say significant because you have been around the loop more than once, and so I don't believe anything less than that would really suffice.)
I would have a good think about how you can keep moving towards a full and happy life for yourself, and work very much on the basis that you and she may never reconcile. She is gone and may not be back. Now if she is back at some point - well you could have a rethink then - but that time isn't here yet - and may or may not ever come. Are you still seeing an IC yourself and working on the areas you wanted to look at?
Try and keep your focus on you as much as you can and set some boundaries on the contact. For me, I took that email account off my phone and it was freeing that XH stopped being able to reach me wherever and whenever. I only checked the account on my terms when I was home and could use my iPad. It was a simple step, but it did me a lot of good - of course XH never even knew...
Keep moving forward my friend - you know what you need to do..
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
