Don't think there is a manual, ha ha - but it is about your boundaries, and being really brave & honest about them. And being able to stick with the consequences of them whatever he does.

Breathe and think. What are your biggest fears? And the most pressing ones? What are your top 3 priorities right now?

Please remind yourself. Your H made this choice without discussion. There may be things that could have been improved in your M or life, but he removed the chance to talk about them. Instead, he decided to have an A and (partially) leave you and your kids in limbo. This is not your fault or responsibility. Has he taken the initiative to calmly propose a generous way to give you and his family some financial & practical stability while he runs away? What has he actually done which is about what YOU need as opposed to what HE wants? And if he hasn't, why do you think he would do that now? And do you think him being 'willing to agree' anything means he will stick to it or not rage about how tough it is for him?

I know this is grim and I know you must feel overwhelmed so you doubt your own judgement. You trusted your L, I think, and her advice? What's changed?

Me: 53 H:38
T:20 M:14
BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression
S 1/16
PA 4/16
H filed 1/17