The understanding when he began sleeping at the apt. was that it was a cooling off period and a quiet place to get sleep. It morphed into the situation that it is now over time. We were hoping he would be able to get another job so we could re-group but his job is very specialized and his benefits were incredible, so he never did. This past January he was let go due to downsizing and he got a new job. I was so excited. I was like Finally!!! Then the EA that he was apparently having turned physical right about the same time. He considered us separated, even though nothing in our lives was separated except the sleeping arrangement. He told me that I told him I didn't love him anymore, something I never said - not even close. I read somewhere that the cheating spouse often rewrites history. I'm seeing ALOT of that from him. I thought I was crazy when I would hear some of the things he would (and still) says about why he's cheating. He doesn't consider this an affair. I guess I've just been completely oblivious. As far as the adoption, If you have any knowledge whatsoever about adoption, you know that suggesting I drag my feet is insane. It's already gone on a year longer than expected. Don't worry, I know my legal rights, I have an excellent attorney. If I shake this up and declare I'm adopting alone ( something you can't legally do if you are married) all hell will break loose and the judge that we have will be an even bigger problem than he has been. Adoption is off the table for discussion on this forum.
