I find myself listening and validating, which kinds of takes away from detaching.
I still listen and validate XW, she was just over a couple of nights ago griping about work and I listened and validated. It can absolutely be done with detachment. You're probably struggling because you are still very early in your sitch at 3 months. You may feel like you're starting to get a handle on your emotions but they will still be all over the place for months yet. Just be patient with yourself. When you can listen and validate with detachment, that is a good sign you're well and truly dropping the rope.
