I agree with OwnIt. You didn't choose this situation. He doesn't care about your thoughts or feelings right now. And no-one knows if a) he will return to your M or b) if you will still want him if he does after this. So don't worry about any of that...just focus on what you need to do next to restore some calm, stability and control for you and the kids.
Your L sounds fab. Do what she tells you, no more and no less. On everything else, drink the STFU smoothie and give him no insight into your feelings or plans. Assume he will lie and assume that he will always put his needs in front of you and the kids right now. You can be pleasantly surprised if he doesn't, but safer to assume the worst.
You are doing fantastically well in a truly s**tty situation and you should be proud of yourself.
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
