Yes, I think we are all in agreement in your sitch it is time to file. Right now you need financial support you can rely on, you need a safe space (without him coming and going as he pleases, that is crazy), and you and the children need a clear and organized custody schedule. Your stability and your sanity need this right now. You are not pushing him away (he is gone and told you this is what he wants) and if anything you are empowering yourself here so you can start to create healthy boundaries and detach.
The future can always change and you know that. You are so afraid to let go--as if you have another option--when really it serves you in two ways. Not only do you allow yourself detachment, but you also do increase the chance he will pull his head our of his arse and start thinking wiser. ... I hate to say this, but I imagine at some point (maybe a long while) he will realize what he is losing and come back. And (hate to say this even more) I hope you are moved on by then. You deserve much better than the abuse, neglect, and adulterous chaos this man has put you and these kids through for so long. I would guess that strong and confident T would agree.
I believe there are plenty of good men out there that would be honored to be a part of your's life and your children's lives some day.
You are doing great tho--we are proud of you!!! Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
