It's been 4 days since I text my W that I need answers to 3 questions to finishing the Dissolution of Marriage form, so I can send it to her for her to sign at her leisure. I haven't heard anything back, so today I text her: It upsets me that you haven't responded to, or at least acknowledged my text. It is disrespectful to just ignore me.
she replied: I'm sorry. Just processing. I will get you the information today. I'm not trying to be disrespectful to you.
the old me would of repled - You don't have to try in order to be disrespectful... It still hurts me that she has not shown any emotion to me through this entire situation. From the first day that I told her that I wanted to discuss her ignoring me (Apr. 2016), until today, she has not initiated a single R conversation. How do you end a M and go through the entire D process without initiating a single R conversation.
I'm sorry, but she's a cold hearted Bitch!!!
Why does this feel like the c-nut that just came here a year ago??? You are clearly not detached, you are having expectations, and you are reacting out of emotions. Is this how you want things to go down?
YOU are telling her that you are filing for D and then telling her she is disrespectful for her response (lack there of). Why are you telling her that and what will that change for you? And, why is it disrespectful for her not to respond? If my H and I were separated and he texted me he was going to D me, I probably wouldn't reply either. You know what I would do? Call my trusted people and do some processing. Also, I would lawyer up and make sure I made the right moves. Texting him would not be first on my agenda! And that would be my right and my choice.
Then, she gives you a very (more than) reasonable response and it's still not good enough for you! C-nut, maybe this is hard for her too! She is saying she is sorry, that she is processing this, she is telling you she will get you the info, and then she says she is not trying to disrespect you. What more do you want from her?!? You are not in a R with her--you are separated--she doesn't owe you anything. Could it be that because she wronged you with her A, and didn't work to fix the M, that you now feel owed something?
"The old you," really? This here is not the old you? Because I am finding you to be emotional, reactive, and looking to blame shift here. You even say she is a "cold hearted B." Why? Where in this exchange does that happen?
What could she have done and said in this text exchange--where you are the one telling her you want D--that would be to your satisfaction? You know what I think? (yeah, I am gonna tell you anyway). I think you are initiating the D process and telling her in hopes of some reaction--some type of remorse--and not because you are detached and ready to move on with your life. And I think it has only been a year or so, it is still too soon, and you are not even ready! ... it doesn't seem she is ready either ... but I have also been saying this all along ...
Why do you have me so worked up? Sorry. I need a time out ...
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
