New here, really need advice

[AMartin]

Hi all-
I've been married for 25 years, with one 18 year old son who's going off to college next month. I've had a lot of health problems, cancer, chronic pain, etc. Our marriage has survived pretty well up until last year. I started noticing that my husband was pulling away from me. Sex pretty much stopped. He started working out and lost some weight. He'd leave the house on Saturday, be gone for hours, and then looked surprised when I asked him where he'd been. I was pretty sure he was having an affair.

In January, I confronted him on it. He initially denied an affair, telling me instead that he was no longer in love with me, not attracted to me. About a week after that he finally admitted that he'd been sleeping with a woman at work. He agreed to break it off and go to counseling. We went to counseling for about 4 months. He changed his behavior for about 2 weeks, and then stopped trying at all to make things better. He stopped sex again without talking to me or anything. He's so passive aggressive. I'm not perfect by a long shot, but I made the changes he asked for. So last night he told me that sex was better for him than before, but there was no emotional connection so he stopped. I told him that would change if he would listen to the counselor and do what she suggested. We're almost at a separation.

I can't take any more, really. He obviously doesn't love me, doesn't want to change. I'm terrified of divorce. I don't want one. I don't believe in it. My mothers been married 5 times. I wanted him to be more romantic, more open about his feelings. He's changed so much. I feel like I don't even know him anymore.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Amy