Oh, and, FWIW, I sincerely believe that my W could at some point realize the destructiveness of her wayward behavior, truly commit to ending that behavior including her A with the OM... and STILL not be "committed to working on the MR". There was a long, long, long history of neglect, and a whole lot of pain, and I do not doubt for a second that she has been prepared to "Walk" for at least a couple of years, even before OM/A. If "we" make a comeback, it will be on the back of a "new" MR... not on what came before. And it my very well be that even the girl I originally married, even if restored to her right mind, would not want to commit to trying to reconcile with me.

She MIGHT want to, of course (though certainly not while in the throws of this affair), but I don't see that mindset as a prerequisite for her emerging from her wayward state and ending the A. (Even as i know that ending the A and emerging from her WW state absolutely IS a prerequisite for us reconciling, if that is ever to happen.)

At any rate, wanted to throw that out there as a lot of people seem to be putting stock in "she needs to commit to working on the MR" before I'll know she's sincere about NC. Not so sure that's the case. I believe she WILL want to work on the MR if her mindset ever changes (along, presumably, with the relationship dynamics) but don't think that that is at all gauranteed.

H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7

"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3