Feeling defeated

[sophene]

I think I'm just going to go through with this divorce. I can only take so much before I reach my breaking point. We are in about $35,000 in debt and he's finding excuses not to help me out. The credit cards are in my name but the purchases were from both of us.

He's living with a coworker right now and he says he's always broke, but when I check the account, he's spending money on frivolous things. I've been kind to him and asking him to please send some money so I can pay down our debts. He barely makes time for the kids because other things are more important right now. I'm going to school, taking care of the kids full time, maintaining the house and pets while he can go out and do whatever he wants. How is this fair for me?

I've taken ownership to my mistakes in the marriage but I would never screw him over like this. What did I do to deserve this? How am I supposed to protect myself financially without getting a divorce? At this point I don't know if it's a full blown affair and I cannot accept this. My life is too short for this crap, I've devoted 11 years of my life to him and I get screwed over in the end.

Maybe he doesn't realize that going through with this divorce will wake him up and realize that he's going to have to pay child support, alimony, a place to stay, his half of the debt, etc. He doesn't see the magnitude of his irresponsibleness. I get that he's not emotionally connected to me anymore, but at least be a responsible father and take ownership for his part of the debt. I just cannot let him get away with this. He thinks he can do whatever he wants to do without any consequences. I'm tired and frustrated and I just want to scream.