I definitely see where you are coming from with children. W and I wanted 3, but after S13 was born she didn't want anymore. Which I respected. And her body kept having bad reaction to every form of birth control, so I did the noble thing and got a vasectomy. Which I seriously have been regretting ever since finding out about my W A.
Gave up the thing, I wanted most. And all she can is shrug it off and say that she appreciates. So finding a woman who doesn't want to give birth to any children is going to be an issue if this MR ends. Thinking onbthis just adds to the list of selfish things my W has done. Also at this point would I even want to have children so far apart in age?
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
But I still can't shake the feeling that I wasted my last 8 years, they were the pivotal years for me to have a child (I won't have another, I don't want to be retired with a child still in school).. Knowing what I know now, I wonder if I would of left her upon finding out she was infertal. Wow, these are dark thoughts I'm having, but I am having them just the same. I didn't leave her, my desire to grow old with her far outweighed my desire to leave her to start a family... Now I have neither.
This resonates with me. I find myself wishing i never met her , that 12 years of my life now just leads to feeling of regret.
Its a phase. I have to recognise that despite being separated for a year and now divorced the feelings of loss is still fresh.
It will go away. It has too.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
It's been 4 days since I text my W that I need answers to 3 questions to finishing the Dissolution of Marriage form, so I can send it to her for her to sign at her leisure. I haven't heard anything back, so today I text her:
It upsets me that you haven't responded to, or at least acknowledged my text. It is disrespectful to just ignore me.
she replied: I'm sorry. Just processing. I will get you the information today. I'm not trying to be disrespectful to you.
the old me would of repled - You don't have to try in order to be disrespectful... It still hurts me that she has not shown any emotion to me through this entire situation. From the first day that I told her that I wanted to discuss her ignoring me (Apr. 2016), until today, she has not initiated a single R conversation. How do you end a M and go through the entire D process without initiating a single R conversation.
I'm sorry, but she's a cold hearted Bitch!!!
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Heart wrenching. I don't get it. Cold hearted? Self centered? Extreme conflict avoidance? All of the above.
Gordie
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
