I have a hard time coping with loss as well. I stayed in a truly abusive relationship in college that I was miserable in because breaking up would feel like too much of a loss. I remember actually wishing I could find out he was cheating so it would give me the power to leave (he was)
With my ex, he was not abusive but I don't believe he was the right match for me. I did not have much experience with men, and once I bonded I never wanted to lose him no matter how difficult of a time we had getting along. He was family to me. He wasn't abusive, but he was leading a secret life and not truly a partner..perhaos because of drugs.
So I do think i understand how hard it is for you to deal with loss. And even being able to have that power to end something that is not good for you despite the loss.
