Hi SJ,

I'm so sorry.

At least it’s out and now you can start the process of making sure the kids’ lives remain as stable as possible. My original thread was about limerence and how it affects people’s lives, I mention this as even though these days seem like the darkest there can be hope IF you want your M to continue (the more time goes by I have my doubt regarding mine!)

I know you’re strong and will be okay, you will get through this no doubts.

If I can make you feel any better maybe it’s with this thought: limerence is a process, it basically has three phases.
1. Infatuation – the “we are meant for each other” “there is no one else who could possibly make me feel this way” stage where god himself stands no chance of getting through to them!
2. Crystallisation – the settling down stage where bonding happens, don’t get in there way at this stage as you ARE the enemy. These people just see each other and are blinkered to everything else even in some circumstances their own children.
3. Deterioration – when reality sets in and the cracks start to appear, this is when if you’ve been doing all your DR’ing right and have been showing him this happy, confident person who has moved on from fantasy world and getting on with her own life is the time for reflection and possible reconciliation.

I’m told limerence as to end so drop the rope look after your kids and yourself, be the best you you can be but remember for yourself NOT HIM and detach from his mental state. Better for you and better for your children. Whilst you’re concentrated on this he will be playing out his fantasy (can’t stop this) and eventually work through the process until reality kicks in and who know what will happen then…

You really need to be supportive now for your S&D and I’ve no doubt you have this covered, hide your sadness, cry behind closed doors and show them that happy fun loving mummy who is addictive to be around everything else will take care of itself.

Can only get better, take care.

Mark.

DR'ing started March 2017

Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".