WW in A. NC promise broke. Separation? (5th thread

[hoosjim]

Wow, sandi, thanks for taking the time to write all that AND post it twice. I will think (and pray) very hard on what you gave said.

And, honestly, FWIW, the more I think about it all the madder and madder I get.

When a WW gets serious about doing whatever it takes to save her M, the first thing to go must be secrerecy. That's one of the reasons behind having transparency. Affairs and other forms of wayward behavior thrieve on secrecy.

Oh, yeah, and that was one other beauty she trotted out last night: "You say you want total openness and honesty but you only want ME [meaning her] to live by that"... because i won't tell her how I monitored her and how I knew she was cheating... HAH!! Some gall, there.

This is not the time to show your soft, gentle, understanding side. It is the time to get tough and to be the one who says what goes on under his own roof. If she can't respect it, then one of you needs to leave. In-house S for your W is nothing different from what you've been doing all these years, unless it would be sleeping in separate beds. Why would you even consider it? It will accomplish nothing, but more disrespect. It is the ultimate cake eating for a WW! Is that what you want for the rest of your life.........serving cake to your WW?

And you're going to beat me up for this, but eff it, this is my marriage Im talking about and I want to make sure I understand all nuances, particularly from the folks who are counselling me that i absolutely have to kick her off the premises or leave myself: IT seems to me that your own sitch played out nearly the opposite... Didn't your H tell you NOT to walk out? That if you did, you wouldn't be coming back? What do you see as the being the difference there? TXHubby's sitch I am pretty sure i know what you'd say the difference is... that his situation is unique based on his particular temperament and almost religious devotion to disattachment while in the same house-- qualities which you have said you think I lack. But I am curious why the dynamics in your sitch seemed so different...