So the trip went alright. I had a great time and our MC encouraged us to have a communication plan which we ended up not deciding on but my W was the one calling me and trying to find moments where we would talk on the phone.

Could she have been hanging out with OM? Sure. Could she have been doing this to fool me? Sure. But when I left I knew she was in pain and wasn't feeling well and so when she ended up staying home on Saturday instead of go out with her coworkers I didn't think she was seeing him. In fact, she tried to communicate with me a few times throughout the night.

When I came back she had said how she missed me. Her actions are getting warmer and warmer towards me. I do have the urge at times to ask if she went NC as it really seems that way. But I know we still have things to work on. So I assume she will tell me that. But the positive interactions keep occurring. When there is a challenge or problem one of us recognizes it and stops it or addresses it. To me all of that is healthy.

On the trip I saw someone bring their new GF and I recognized little things as to what I was doing in the past (ignore her, walk away/ahead, not waiting for her) that made me project and say later to my friends how he might lose her if he isn't careful (turns out she had been dropping some signals to another friend). So I do think I am realizing more and more how I wasn't the perfect H or even in many ways an appropriate one. In turn it seems W has appreciated my growth and is now more and more working back to fully recommitting.

At this point I would like for her to say those words but it doesn't even really matter to me. We are having a good time and the more we do things together and not just act like good friends the better it seems to me. Like I told MC: if she is faking keeping the peace just to bide her time than that is her loss. But if that is the case I am learning skills as to how to work together, I am learning how to recognize when I need to listen rather than try to fix her problems, I am learning how to just have a good time rather than worry about little details that may be relevant but shouldn't be the first question. She sees more and more a side of me she hadn't seen or trusted that it was there.

She has been spending a few moments in the MBR but (this is dumb) her allergies act up in that room..we haven't had a moment to get the carpet some deep cleaning (probably dust and cat hair is intertwined in there)

There has been more talk about doing things together. Not necessarily overly romantic but I think we both recognize that we kind of skipped the fun parts: the dating, the developing a sound friendship. We sort of jumped straight into a business arrangement. We both also changed over the years so now we are just rediscovering who we are and how we fit together.

As to where we are? I don't know. But I don't think we are necessarily heading for a divorce as things have gotten a lot better. Does that mean we will be back in love? I think that's too soon, we both still have things to work on. But do I think she is giving it an effort? I would say she is doing that.

Looking forward to the next MC session on Wed evening (and then we both have IC on Sat).

I fully realize that there might a major set back right around the corner.