When I was going through my own D, a member here used to club me mercilessly with a 2x4...
You have to realize that your M, as it was, is gone. No wishing or hoping is going to change that. Ask yourself... is that what you really want? If you you do reconcile w/ your H, then it is going to be a new beginning and none of what has happened in the past is going to have a place in the new future.
No amount on conciliation is going to change his mind about coming back. You have to make the best deal for you and not take his "feelings" into consideration. Right now, he is not on your team and is only looking out for his interests.
His ideas that this D was your idea is him gaslighting you. Don't fall for this. You know the truth and so does he. He seems to be trying to rewrite the history of this. Do not let him. He needs to be reminded that that this was his idea and that he was the one that initiated it.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
