Ginger1 -- you are right, the questions, by themselves are legitimate. Nonetheless, he managed to divert my attention by never addressing of how to address this issue. We have not discussed it. Should we wait and see? Who should we talk to?
The conversation and his questions centered around the validity of my perceptions that this could be a potential problem.
Perhaps I am being overly sensitive; I certainly recognize that possibility, which is why I presented the question here.
On the other hand, I have felt throughout most of the marriage, my opinions and views have been discounted or outright dismissed. Many times when I bring up a point of view, H will take the opposite stance. He often has a "contrarian" attitude about my opinions and ideas.
Regardless, I have let it go with H and have chosen to act on my own toward what I consider S's best interest. The bottom line is I know I cannot count on him to take parenting issues seriously. And realistically, since we are divorcing, my interactions with him will be limited.
What I take away from this is I need to learn the very difficult lesson that he is not the person I thought he was. I need to constantly keep in mind that I need to solely address the parenting issues unless and until he can step up to the plate.
On another MLC related note, I got my haircut over the weekend. My hairdresser is also H's hairdresser. H and her have known each other for close to 20 years. She knows what has happened because I have told her; H has said nothing.
She told me that despite knowing him for 20 years, he keeps her at arm's distance. She has always thought it strange, but just figured that is the way he is. I find this insightful because I am realizing he does this to everyone in his life. His few friends have told me the same thing. I bring this up because I feel validated by having this information. It is something I can point to and say, okay, it all isn't just in my head.
She also told me he asked her for references for laser hair removal and a liposuction doctor. H has always complained that he has a "fat" gut. Nothing could be further from the truth. He is in absolutely amazing shape. But when he was a teenager, he as rather husky and had to shop in the "husky" section; this seems to be something that has scarred him. The hair removal is no surprise. He meticulously shaves himself. Everywhere. I will leave it at that.
He also went to get a pedicure this weekend. And he has been buying some new clothes. He hasn't spent more than $300 to $500, but that is a lot for him.
Saturday night S and I went to a concert in the park with some friends. We had a picnic and it was wonderful. The food was delicious, the music was spectacular, the company friendly and light, and the weather was perfect. I just love attending those kinds of events. I would have had a glass of wine, but I was driving and had S with me. I don't like to imbibe when I am out and about with S.
I got home around 9 p.m. and H was out. This is the first time he has gone out at night since BD. He came home at around 9:30 p.m. I didn't ask where he went, what he did, etc.
I can't help but feel he did this as way of giving me the big middle finger. I feel like it was out of spite. He literally has no one he socializes with. He hasn't gone out with friends in years and years. The only friends he has are these women.
He did end up letting it slip that he was found a part we needed to fix a broken ceiling fan and he got a haircut.
I thought maybe some of this replay behavior would subside after he served me. But it all seems to be increasing. Have others on here seen replay behaviors increase after being served?
It seems like he is desperately continuing to look for outside things to fix his inside issues. I wish he would spend half as much effort fixing his inside issues than he spends on his outside appearance. I can't control him. I know. He has to learn this lesson on his own. Too bad he has to blow up his family in the process.
