ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next 3

[SJW]

H has not been in contact since yesterday morning although he said he would ring the kids today. I emailed him the entire financial situation this afternoon which wasn't pretty for him but I am also not ripping him off.

I have spent a whole week dreading him telling the kids tomorrow night and this weekend has just made me so angry I am actually thinking about telling the kids myself. My H is not my H anymore and I have no idea if he ever will be or if I could go back from this. He is certainly not the Daddy he was and I honestly believe if he could spend every single moment with OW he would and justify it with the fact that being in the army the kids are used to him not being around. I feel like he is only seeing the kids out of duty unless he can take them to his fantasy land which emotionally for them isn't right and practically is impossible.

So do I tell them rather than keep making myself ill while I wait for him to turn up or not tomorrow night with no plan of what he is going to say and then leave me with the fallout? If I tell them I can deal with their reaction and emotions as they have always had me and have always been very open emotionally with me and then if he comes back he can answer questions or take them out as that is the way it is going to be moving forward. I just want to do what's best for them and me.